August 06, 2007

Chocolate chip cookies - the thorn in my flesh

Well, just being real here...

Generally, I really do okay with my kids' allergies. (Mattie-dairy and wheat; Jacob-corn, dairy, and eggs) I don't like it, but hey, we don't have leukemia. Today is one of those days I have about once a year or less. I'm so frustrated!!! I don't love to cook to begin with, but food is such a major deal at our house it's even worse than normal.

I've been trying to cook meals that we can all eat as a family, but it's so hard! We have very few options...
~marinades and dressings ALL have corn in them b/c of the vinegar (and homemade ones are nasty)
~casseroles all have "cream of ..." soups and are out for dairy and corn (Can't make my own b/c there is no corn free bouillon.)

Plain grilled chicken with ketchup on it just gets yucky after awhile. Well, after the first bite. So then I give up. And then I feel bad that my kids are eating the same boring things they always eat. And that Robert is eating boring food too (though he never complains). Planning our weekly meals just reminds me how complicated it is to make a "normal" meal for my where we all eat the same thing.

I've been trying to bake some things that we can all eat...that means corn free, egg free, wheat free, and dairy free. The problem is that it means substituting a lot of ingredients and they just flop! Since I don't like to bake to begin with, I really hate it when I try and blow it so bad! Generally, it makes me feel like a terrible cook. I know it's not my fault that egg-free, dairy-free, wheat-free, corn-free chocolate chip cookies are hard to bake, but that is no consolation when I pull a crumbly, greasy flop out of the oven for the fourth time. It's even worse when I consider the cost of the ingredients that just got wasted! (Dairy-free corn-free chocolate chips are $5.69 per bag! Not to mention the pecans and organic raisins.) And the worst part?! Jacob complains that they are yucky!!!!! (Now, I've eaten several of them this morning. They are not yucky. Messy? Yes. Yucky? No.) I give up!

So here I sit venting to my cyber family (after talking to the Lord), crying all the while because food is such a high stress factor for me some days! I still have all the dirty dishes from my baking failures on the counter and in the sink. And nothing good to show for it. So, not feeling much like the warm fuzzy Proverbs 31 woman this morning.

I am reminded of a few things though...
~The fact that I don't like to bake is not my imagination.
~Egg-free, dairy-free, wheat-free, corn-free chocolate chip cookies are not possible in my kitchen.
~There is a reason we cook with wheat, butter and eggs.
~This is not going away.
~David (in the Psalms) does not address food allergies.


Anonymous said...

No, he doesn't mention food allergies (or many of the other things that frustrate us in 2007) but since I am someone who has told you that the Psalms encourage me all the time...I thought I'd point out that David DOES talk about feeling lonely, frustrated and just downright down - which I know you might be feeling. :) I am so sorry your cookies crashed today! You know how much I love a mission, I am going to have to start brainstorming some new meals for you. :) Love you!


jen2n said...

Hey You! I well remember the first 2 years gluten-free...I would put dinner on the table, everybody would take a bite, and then half of them (at least) would give it a big thumbs down! :-( !!! Gradually it improved...I'll brainstorm as well...I think I have the boillion...bullion...bouillion... answer already (how DO you spell that word!)
God can meet you there...I've thought a lot of things about my walk with Jesus, but I never really realized there would be a time in my life that I would actually ask Him to make something bake right, and now it's a pretty regular conversation between us! And I definitely know He hears my pleas in this area of motherhood and helpmeeting, just like all the other ones. LY TONS!

Kjirstin C said...

This sounds like such a sad day Liss! I can't identify with this stuff at all with you (at least not yet, but with our family history, I probably will some day!) - but I am SO sorry, and I will try to look at any of my recipes, and I'll pass along anything that might work.

One positive thing someday will be that when I am feeling this same thing, with our kids allergies (pretty likely) then you'll be able to help me!

Also, your constant effort to bless your children and husband in what they eat, making it healthy, allergy free, and yummy, is SUCH an encouragement to me!

Love you Liss

Jessica said...

I love coming back here to read more up on you. The first few times I just scanned. Anyway, I know this is old but I had some issues with Elijah and looked into Eat Right 4 (for) Your Type by Dr. Peter D'Adamo. He has a site that has a bunch of recipes that MAY help you in your struggles. Maybe not all, you might have some recipies that work one way for one kiddo and other recipes that work another way for another kiddo. Yes, that is a LOT of cooking but, if you want cookies.... (I think) Good luck.