June 30, 2008

Deeper Still #1

I'm back and settled in again to real life with two small children. It sounds like Robert and the kids had a great time while I was gone. That was nice to hear so I don't feel guilty for leaving!

I had a great time too. There were some interesting dynamics as we took 11 leaders of the women's ministry... and that makes for a lot of chiefs in the camp! After a bit of the tension, it just got really comical, so a few of us gave up being frustrated and just laughed uncontrollably about the issue. Actually, I laughed harder this weekend than I have in a long time.

I thought I'd share a bit about the nuggets of truth that made the most impact on me. We'll see if I can make any sense...

One of them was within the first ten minutes of the event's beginning! Travis Cottrell was singing a song and this one line struck me like a baseball bat. I don't even know what song it was, and we were so high up in the nosebleed section I missed almost all of the words. But one thing I did hear was, "will you believe what He says to be true?" And for some reason, that was my first challenge.

I realized I have been believing only some of what God says. I believe that He loves me, that He died for me, that He is coming back, etc. All of the basics of the faith. But I have let man's opinions of me supersede God's love and acceptance of me. Many times I have encouraging scripture to say to some other people, but I haven't been believing them for myself. I have let man's thoughts about me fill me with fear, timidity, and a total lack of confidence in the woman God created me to be. I have allowed this fear to settle in and make me second guess myself on a daily basis. It has permeated my confidence in every relationship I have.

I know I'm not perfect, but God knows when I'm giving Him my best. I know I can't find my peace and rest in being liked by man. While I know I need to do my best to be at peace with men, I cannot measure my success or self-worth by the opinions of the people around me. I find it in being pleasing to the God I serve. And thankfully, my best is enough for Him. I know He's with me for the long haul, and will keep working on me until He's finished making me like Him! I am a treasure to God. I have been bought with a price. I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my shortcomings. God. Loves. Me. Aaaah, there is such rest in that!

"The fear of human opinion disables,
trusting in God protects one from that."
Proverbs 29:25 (The Message)

"You are my servant, I have chosen you and not rejected you.
Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:9b,10

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1 comment:

Jessica said...

Thank you for putting words to the way I have been feeling. Reading your words made an Aha moment for me as to why I have been feeling the way I have and not realizing why. Thank you, Melissa and Thank you, God!