I mean, really need Him? I've been thinking about this for a long time now.
In our depravity, clearly we need Him. That's not what I'm talking about.
But in our affluence, do we need Him? Or do we structure our lives in such a way that there is no opportunity to see Him at work?
Do I live with reckless abandon? Or is everything scheduled and detailed in such a way that there is no room for Him to be needed?
Do I desperately need Him to get through the day?
Do I need to see His handiwork to pay my bills? Or do I rearrange my budget so that it works just fine?
Do I sit and wait to see His miracles as He solves a problem I can't fix?
Generally, I give an additional offering as it fits in our budget. I go on a mission trip if I can work out the details. I fill my cabinets with our favorite foods. I take my kids to the doctor and get the medical care we need. I am merely inconvenienced if one of our cars is in the shop.
I'm not sure how to change this while we live in this culture... do I give freely that He has to provide to pay our bills each day? Do I give more instead of putting it in savings and trust God to provide when the need arises? We have 10% of a church's budget going to missions, yet we pay more than that in childcare while we have committee meetings and events.
This is what I mean... am I living my life in such a way that I need him? Or am I playing it safe every day? And what about the "That's not faith, that's stupidity!" argument?
There are children DYING this day, and we're accruing interest in a retirement account. There are children DYING this hour, yet we're not adopting them or even feeding them. There are children DYING this very minute, and ours are watching cartoons on cable.
What in the world is wrong with us?
I have to say, I miss the excitement of living with a reckless abandon in trusting Him. There is renewed faith each and every day when we're in situations that only He can fix. There is desperation for His power when all seems impossible. And there is closeness as His power is displayed.
Change Me, God! Rock my world and make me absolutely desperate for You. No matter the cost.