February 28, 2010

So Long Insecurity: Week 2, edition 2 : )

So after typing out this entire post, I had a lot to think and pray about. Being forced to make it all make sense (because someone may read it) is so good for me because it forces me to get all the way through an issue in my brain as opposed to thinking about it and putting it in some brain file that never gets brought to the Light.  

Interestingly enough, I thought I had quite a bit of praying to do, chewing on the issue of the fear of abandonment, rejection, etc.  But I realized there isn't any praying to do except to thank the Lord for his light.  The acknowledgement and confession of the sin of jealousy and fear was what I needed!  

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  1 John 1:9 

In asking the Lord to show me my sin, His conviction, and my subsequent confession there is freedom and forgiveness.  He has shone His light in my darkness and exposed the sin for what it is.  (I saw it as insecurity, He showed me the fruit of that insecurity was sin.)

"The light shines in the darkness, yet the darkness did not overcome it."  John 1:5

Praise the Lord for His light that He shines in the dark areas of our hearts!  Praise Him for being willing to walk this journey with me.  Praise Him for the freedom I have today from the sin I carried yesterday.  Praise Him for the freedom He offers me when I take every thought captive and choose to praise Him for the way He made me.

"I will praise You, because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.  Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well."  Psalm 139:14

And Praise Him for the rest there is in knowing that He created me with this set of characteristics, so He must have thought I was acceptable, delightful, enough.  Praise Him for the lightness in my relationship with Robert as I realize how unfair it is to him when I look to him for my security.  And like my anonymous commenter said, God is big enough to get me through people's failures when they happen.  (Thank you for that encouragement!) And remembering our challenge in chapter 3, praise Him that I'm one step closer to letting "the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of  me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship." 

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